Pattern of dating unavailable men
As long as you were tolerant, the relationship stayed the same.
As soon as you became demanding, you started to grow apart.
You’re committed to being vulnerable, putting yourself out there, getting to know the person and possibly forming a great relationship—and they aren’t.
I recently tried dating one of these and it wasn’t just frustrating on every level, but it left me with trust issues: specifically, my ability to trust my own judgement about who is worth my time and who isn’t. If they haven’t been able to sustain anything that lasts more than a few months, it’s normally because they can’t open up or don’t want to commit to anyone long enough to form that emotional connection.
However, the relationship went so far and no further.
Maybe he refused to commit to you; maybe he kept remained distant and remote; maybe he insisted on calling you his date and not his partner, girlfriend, or spouse; or maybe he placed you at the very bottom of his priorities.
A relationship where both partners are “all-in” is tough enough.
But when you’re dealing with someone who isn’t even “halfway in,” things areharder.
If you can break these deadly dating patterns, you might have a shot at that love thing after all. Or as soon as you meet a guy, you envision your future dates with him, marrying him, or just having hot sex with him.
We were shocked when we heard that the first guy Rihanna seriously dated after Chris Brown had been accused of domestic abuse by an ex-girlfriend.
After everything she went through, it would seem as if she'd be repulsed by men with that kind of reputation. "Most of us have a relationship pattern — that same type of guy we keep falling for — and it can work for or against us," says couples therapist Deborah Dunn, author of Stupid About Men.
Ironically, the very behaviors you engage in to get into a healthy, loving, committed relationship do just the opposite, leaving you in tremendous pain and feeling like you’re destined to be alone forever.
Looking back at the wreckage of your relationship history, you’ll know if it’s time to cleanse your dating palate of the chaotic and destructive patterns that have gotten you to where you are, overwhelmed by loneliness and afraid you’ll be perpetually single.